Stu letter to UC

Below is a letter from my partner Stuart to the Universal Credits about his view on my current situation and how they have made a big mistake thinking I am fit enough to go back to work, which I am not.

He details how he does everything for me and what he does for me. He also explains how he has to do the housework and look after our son all the time as I am not capable of doing it myself. 

He also talks about how my Tramadol intake is slowly creeping back up again. He also explains how I went out one day to my sons school for a meeting but I was bed bound for 3 days afterwards suffering from the walking.

He also states how in the surgeons letter to us, she says that we have to give it at least 4 months before they can do anything else. Also that he thinks I need an second opinion on my current situation.

 Hi UC.

This is a small update regarding emmas condition, which sadly differs compared to your recent assessment…

Emma has been bed ridden since before the 2 op’s, and to be honest that is still going on up to present day…

Recently (month or so) the tradamol intake is starting to creep up again…

Her symptoms are starting to sound like what she was suffering with before the first op…

In the maybe 3or4 times she went out in the last year or so with my mum, to places where she spends most time on crutches and sitting down in pain, she has come back sore, and suffering for 2 or 3 days after that, which includes being in bed all day, more tablets than usual, getting me up at night to do her pee jug, hot water bottles, tea or coffee, talk, etc...

The one time she went out with me to johns school (about week or so ago) she insisted on being there because we are having issues with john at school. I did not want her to go but she insisted, although I’m now glad she did. emma then spent the next three atleast days in severe and I mean severe pain, didn’t eat as normal, hardly left the bedroom at all, and her sleep was so bad she got me up three nights in a row, and she also had to sleep during the day just to cope with the pain…

I have just read emmas response to you we are putting up, and honestly, from my heart, she is telling the absolute truth. She does need to see a doctor. She also needs to see you so you can visually asses and determine for yourselves. There is no lockdown, so there is no reason at all for emma not to be seen. We will gladly consent to see anyone who thinks they can help her. She still relies heavily on me to do most things, as it was in the beginning of all this to be honest. Honestly, nothing has changed…

I just want uc to know, that I think you may have made an error in judgement, and I feel strongly she is not capable or fit for work. But I will not force the issue, nor will I tell you. You can phone me anytime and ask me what I think. After all I am being paid by you for me to be her carer, and I a also act for and on her behalf when asked to do so. But yet again, I want this to be made very clear, I will only inform when asked to do so, so please, if you want to know more from me, or want to talk to me, then please please do ask. But I believe you have made a big mistake in your assessment, and I just want you to know that, in case it comes to light at a later date. I will be the first to say I told you so. I am sorry if that sounds rude. But someone has made a decision about my emma, that will become detrimental to her health and wellbeing at a later date, and I cant just sit back and not tell you…

 

 When I read the letter from the surgeon before the second op, who I whole heartedly believe did her very best for emma, the letter clearly left me with the very distinct impression that there was less to no guarantees that the procedure would actually work by making emma pain free again. I could tell that they were at least being honest in saying it doesn’t always solve the problem. Well it hasn’t, there has been a slight very short term improvement as in the first op, but she is now started slipping back to the way she was… (just so you know I would have made all documents available to uc but I was asked by yourselves not to post them up due to data protection, even though you have had my full consent to disseminate and read them accordingly). We are not hiding anything. We are not lying to you. We are telling you our absolute truth. Emma is still in a very bad way. And she still needs medical attention. I just think that emmas problem is not what the surgeon thought it was. In other words, I still think there is something else wrong with emma that we have not found yet, and although I haven’t even said this to emma yet, she will read it here for the first time when I show her this, ‘there is something else in emma that needs looking at’…

I think she needs a second opinion. And not because anyone has done emma wrong. Far from it. I am eternally grateful for all the help we have had. And We wouldn’t be together as a family if it weren’t for UCredits. And emma could have died from the eptopic. So I am eternally grateful for all the helpwe have received…

We had decided to just accept the surgeons advice in her letter, and wait until the 4 months are up before we see or speak to anyone again about emmas worsening situation that hasn’t got any better. Its up to UC if you choose to decide something different about my emmas health. But I just want you to know that at the moment I agree with the surgeon.

Please please please remember emma is dyslexic, she has mild speech difficulty, and she doesn’t speak up for herself at times when I want her to. But she has been bullied badly in her school days, and I will not add to her existing ailments by telling her what to do. That would just be more bullying. I will speak to anyone who wants to speak to me about helping my emma, but I will not force myself upon anyone else anymore. If you ask me, I will gladly talk, but I will tell my truth, my whole truth, and nothing but my truth. And on that note, emma is no way near fit for work, not even a maybe. I still cannot see that light at the end of that tunnel. But if anyone choose’s to overturn that decision, I will gladly let you. I will not force my opinion on anyone…

 Actually UC, on writing the above paragraph, and in this very moment, I have just consciously coherently and knowingly decided to make this lecture of mine to the gp and the surgeon and pip and anyone else who may be involved or can help. I have also made the decision that all our details and info are going to be made available publically online for all to read and see…

WHY you ask…

Statistically, if its 1in4 women suffering from this I am going to help them all and make a difference. If its 1in10 women suffering this I am going to help them and make a difference. Whatever the number, my emma is already one too many, and I have listened to enough women now giving their testimonies, to realise there is a problem in our society, and I don’t think we have a fuller understanding of it yet. And by divine grace, if there is something I can do, I want to try…

Maybe there is an underlying cause or symptom of endobelly. Could it be related to the eptopic pregnancy, or could it be to do with the keyhole surgery or c-section. I don’t know.  I am convinced there is more to this than meets the eye. But I know emma isn’t any better. I know she isn’t fit for work. And I know she still needs me to do most things for her…

Its so interesting that to me, as I am writing this, you could say like a diary, it is starting to help me to come up with practical things I can do, that maybe one day, may even help others out there going through the same painful traumatic experience my emma is going through right now every day…

Thankyou thankyou thankyou for everything you have already done UC and sorry for the long lecture here, but I think its actually done as much for me as it will for you in terms of info…

God bless you all, god guide you all, god protect you all…
Peace and blessings…
stu

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Emma Letter to Universal Credits

Below is my letter to the Universal Credits about my current situation and how I think they have made a big mistake on thinking I am fit enough to go back to work which I can tell you here now that I am noway near ready to go back to work or ready to do any kind of work because no matter on what I do I always end up in pain.

I state how I am constantly using my crutches to get about the house. I also explain on how much my Tramadol intake has gone up again recently. I explain how my partner Stuart does everything for me and looks after our son and does all the housework.

I have asked Universal Credits for a copy of my notes which made them come to the decision that I am fit enough to go back to work and what made them come to this conclusion by only evaluating me over the phone and not seeing me in person.

Emma’s Statement to UC about my current situation and why I am not fit enough to go back to work at all.

Both me and Stuart agrees that I am not fit to go to work at all or even fit enough to do any kind of work. You are making a very big mistake on sending me back to work just on what was said over the phone. You cannot just evaluate me over the phone and think that I am fit enough to go back to work. You have not seen me personally and not seen what have I do to get through the day.

We also agree that a doctor should come round and assess me. I will also still be sending you sick notes.

I am still suffering with excruciating crippling stabbing pains all across my abdomen, belly and sometimes in my groin and pelvic. I am constantly resting in my bed all day every day with my hot water bottle.

I constantly have use my crutches to walk and move about the house.

I am relying on Stuart to do stuff for me all the time (e.g. emptying my pee jug hot water bottle day and night) and he also has to do all the housework. Stuart also looks after our son all the time as I am not capable of looking after him on my own. None of this has changed.

I am having to take at least 2 Tramadol’s just to keep the pain at bay. My Tramadol intake has gone up to 5 a day this past week, and seems to be creeping up again.

I would like a copy of my notes and everything that you have discussed about my situation that made you come to this decision about me being fit enough to go back to work.

Stuart will making a statement on his view on my current situation.

 

Emma Goode, 35 Archer Road, Redditch, B98 8DN, 07383109492, emmasmith90@yahoo.com, 21/02/1990

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